Aurgh.

Keven is tired.
Keven needs to do PW.
Keven needs to study Physics.
Keven needs to study Chem.
Keven needs to study Econs.
Keven needs to practise GP.
Keven needs . . . .

Gosh. This is pointless.
Keven needs to get a . . . . LIFE!

Work List:

Chemistry
Reaction kinetics tutorial
Chem Equilibrium tutorial
Prepare for SPA

Physics
Uniform circular motion tutorial
Universal gravitation tutorial
Oscillation tutorial
Prepare for Physics Lecture test
Prepare for SPA

Mathematics
Extra problems on complex numbers Q1, Q3, Q5

Economics
Huge table on various market structures
Essay outlineS

General Paper
Prepare 8(!!!) essay outlines

YOG
Rehearsal rehearsal rehearsal rehearsal rehearsal rehearsal rehearsal rehearsal rehearsal rehearsal rehearsal rehearsal rehearsal rehearsal rehearsal rehearsal rehearsal rehearsal rehearsal rehearsal rehearsal

Keven is going to die. Please do all of the following:
1. Let me have my way these last few hours
2. Come to my funeral
3. Bring flowers. I always liked white roses (hint hint)
4. Try to miss me
5. Don't bury my homework with me.

I've finally found out why I'm always angry. Because I can never meet my exceedingly low standards and I hate myself for that, because I don't want to be the retarded loser that I am. Gosh. Why can't I ever get things right?! Do I have to eff up everything in my life before I get a break?

eternal damnation.

I don't know how I'm going to forgive myself. The second time i ever made that stupid fumble was during the concert. Of all the times it could have happened, it had to be during the concert. And that part was just SO important, like one of only few parts where my playing/cueing really matters. And I screwed it up. Good job Keven. You suck. Rot in hell. ):

dreams.

Dreams can be such scary things, by which I don't mean just scary nightmares in which you see someone sprawled on the floor white as alabaster and cold as ice, or the three hundred or so Spartans chasing you around in Carreras. It could afterall be a just any normal dream which you wake up from breaking out in cold sweat.

Sometimes hypothetical situations pop into your mind, like what would you do if you were the last man on Earth, or if you could go away from this world and stay on an island and live off coconuts, or a car was charging straight at your girlfriend/boyfriend, or the life of your most loved/hated friend/enemy was in your hands, what would you do? That kind of thing.

When you're fully aware of your thoughts, you can try and avoid thinking about unpleasant thoughts, awkward scenarios, and even deliberately not confront your heart, convincing yourself by telling yourself what you want to hear.

But when you're dreaming, things are totally different. You're thrust into a scene you didn't ask to be in, and sometimes it could be so real, you could be interacting with people you actually know, who are more than just 'somebody' to you. And after convincing yourself you'ld react this way and that way, you find yourself reacting in a different way.

And when you wake up, you feel insecure. Because your reaction was different from how you hoped to have reacted. And it seems like reality, and you feel that if it were to really happen in your life, you would possibly react the same way.

Colosseum

Life is like living in the colossuem. Its like walking into the arena again and again, with no rest. As you feel your strength leaving you, the gates open for yet another few beasts enter to finish you off. You spin around facing the angry eyes of the lion, unaware of the tiger leaping for your throat till you see the shadow in the swirling sand. But it't too late. As you get mauled down by the tigers, you vaguely see the crowd rise to their feet, their screams of estacy rising and reveberating all around the arena. The fun and pleasure comes from seeing your blood spill, watching you scream and writhe under the piercing claws shredding you where it hurts most, disfiguring your face, marked by so many hard battles. And those faces were the same fivety thousand that cheered you on while you were still going strong. Too bad you're down now, and they withdraw their support immediately. All you see are those jaws closing down on your neck. A surge of adrenaline gives you the strength to throw off the tiger, but even if you do survive this, leave the arena alive, you'll have to walk into it again.

That's life for you, and in the cruel Colosseum, you have to search your soul and find who you really want to be, dig deep into your heart for emotions, love, happiness, and whatever else. But whoever you may be inside, the world is only interested in the cold, hard, ruthless Gladiator in you-- for their entertainment.

*dies*

oh dear. econs is in 1.5 hours. im feeling faint. im scared! AHHHH!!! i dont think i can walk to the exam venue. my legs are wobbling too much. IM GOING TO FAIL! WAHHHH!!!! *whines*

Haha. Whatever happens, happens. I leave it to fate.